In one of the beginning lectures for Humanities Core, we discussed Don Felipe Guaman Poma de Ayala and his experiences as a mestizo.
Don Felipe’s father was from Spanish descent, while his mother came from the line of Royal Incas. Because of this, Don Felipe’s upbringing was a complicated one. Although he grew up among the Incas, he was taught Spanish from a young age and was exceedingly educated.
As he was growing up, Don Felipe saw the Inca struggle against the Spanish and used his mixed blood as a tool to help the Incas regain their power. He was able to do this because he could use his Spanish blood to make the Spanish listen, and yet stay on good terms with the Incas because he developed within the culture. He was one with both: an outlier to some extent.
As I was listening to the lecture, I wondered how Don Felipe felt in terms of “fitting in” and if he ever really could “fit in.” I not only related his psychological state to Zitkala Sa, but also to my own.
I am half Filipino and half white which has created a strange dynamic that my siblings and I have been able to discuss recently (before this conversation, I believed that I sat alone with these thoughts).
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Thoughts:
- Never being able to truly feel at home when in a family environment or when in an environment that is either primarily white or primarily Filipino
- Having difficulty figuring out which customs are acceptable in which environments
- Never being able to truly relate to a culture’s dynamics
- Feeling as though siding with one side of the family is necessary
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Reading Zitkala Sa sparked this conversation with my siblings and has helped all of us work through a large degree of the thoughts above. However, the lecture on Don Filipe helped immensely.
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Conclusion from Don Filipe: Own both cultures, because you are rightly apart of both
Don Felipe’s story is one of courage, strength, and virtue. This being something that I believe every student can take from. His story has helped me embrace not only my Filipino side, but also my white side. Rather than focusing on the issues and hypocrisies within both cultures and fighting them internally, I should focus my efforts on embracing the good and trying to be the change to uplift in each.
letsgettothecore 
In this blog, you were able to associate the complicated notion of a cultural “mestizo” with your own life experiences, thus making it easier to understand and relatable to the audience. I personally connected with your story as well, due to my own heritage being both caucasian and Japanese descent. The struggle with your identity, the difficulty in connecting culturally/linguistically to your family, and not being able to fit in an ethnic category is something that I also experience, which I why I found your post so relatable and engaging.
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